The 2005 sales figures for the museum shop have been tallied. The actual value is a closely guarded secret; however, we can say that it is in the low two digits. The actual number of items sold could reportedly be counted, with little effort, on the fingers on one hand. The bonus for purchasers of museum merchandise is that any items that are purchased are likely to become collector's items due to their extreme rarity (this according to the marketing department). However, we can report that positive steps are being taken. New items have been added to the roster of merchandise. In 2005, we hired a winsome spokesmodel, Ileana, shown here reacting to the financial news. At the shop, she turns on the charm to show museum patrons just how fashionable our merchandise can be. Customers may rest assured that if she is wearing it, it is indeed in the best of taste.
-- The Museum Staff